


So Try Me On And I Will Tell You Where You Ought To Be

by noxlunate



Series: Southsiders at Hogwarts [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, Sorting Ceremony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3932236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxlunate/pseuds/noxlunate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sorting Hat sorts some of our lovely South Siders. A companion piece to What The Hell Is A Hufflepuff</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Try Me On And I Will Tell You Where You Ought To Be

Tony Milkovich was the second oldest of the Milkovich siblings, eleven years old and already seemingly the size of a small mountain, still growing up and out and easily bigger than nearly every boy in his year. The kids around him looked a little wary, but Tony watched the Great Hall with bright, wide eyes, his hands shoved into the pockets of his robes, fingers curled around the wand his Mom had helped him find in a second hand shop. She’d looked proud when it’d sparked seemingly happy sparks when he’d touched it, smoothed a hand through his hair and said “The wand chooses the wizard” and now, so far away from home, it felt comforting to clutch at it tightly. It made him feel closer to her, and to home. 

He nearly jumped when his name was called and rushed up to the stool, bumping into his peers as he went. Jamie had swore to Tony that it’d be difficult, and Tony had been terrified that he’d get sent back home, that he’d have to go back and see his Mom’s disappointed face, that he wouldn’t get to experience the place she told them about on the good nights, when she wasn’t so far into the drugs that she tucked her babies in and told them long stories about her adventures at Hogwarts. He was terrified, but it had him determined as he marched to the stool, sat down and pulled the hat down over his head. 

_“Ah, another Milkovich, I see. I saw your brother only last year. You’re just as complicated as he was, aren’t you?”_ The voice spoke into his ear, no, into his _mind_ and it was all at once the freakiest, and the coolest thing Tony had experienced. 

_“Curious, are you? Might be wise to stick you in Ravenclaw, you’d learn a great deal there.”_ Tony couldn’t help the way he bobbed his head. He’d accept anywhere to be honest. As long as it was a house. As long as it wasn’t hopping back onto the train to go home again. 

“I’m not quite sure that’s it though. You’ve got a good heart, you do. Brave, fierce, and a desire to prove you’re more than just some thug, to prove you’re good, to protect people, it’ll do you good in…” 

“GRYFFINDOR!”

*****************************************************

Fiona Gallagher is lean and lanky, still at the age where she towers above the boys her age. Soon the boys will catch their growth spurts, gaining height and changing that, but for now she feels awkward and ungainly, especially when her long, puberty riddled limbs are combined with her wild hair and Gallagher name. 

She’d heard the way people had talked about them, about _her_. The whispers when they were out, about her drunk father, and her crazy mother, the way they seemed to fight and fuck and spit out more children before falling off the face of the planet together or one at a time, leaving Fiona to deal with it all. She did her best to not let it effect her, to not let the way her classmates looked at her effect her, like they were remembering things their parents had said. And if it did bother her, if it even hit a single bit of her through her tough skin, well she didn’t let it show. She ignored the stares as she walked up to the stool, let the hat be dropped over her head and sat there, waiting. 

_“You Gallagher’s breed like rabbits, don’t you?”_ The voice spoke in her head, and Fiona knew that was where it was, knew no one else but her could hear it. 

“That’s what they say.” Fiona thought, smiling a bit grimly. There was no changing the way the Gallaghers reproduced and Fiona wouldn’t if she could. She loved her siblings more than anything in the world, probably knew more about them than their actual parents did even, and it’d killed her leaving them. 

“ _Well, I look forward to seeing the rest of you. Now, I know just where to put you…”_

“GRYFFINDOR” 

*************************************  
Iggy was soft faced, knobby kneed and kept his head down as well as he could. It was easier that way, easier to go unnoticed than to draw attention and deal with the consequences. He’d learned that the hard way. It was impossible to not be the center of attention when your name was called though, when you had to climb up in front of the whole school and have that hat dropped onto your head. It was easier though, once it was on, once the thing covered Iggy’s eyes, leaving him able to pretend like no one could see him. 

“ _Another Milkovich, I see.”_ It spoke in Iggy’s head and Iggy was torn between nervousness and utter curiosity as to how the hat could do it. 

_“To be quite honest, I’m not sure how I do it, if you ever figure it out do come tell me though.”_ The hat said, seeming to follow Iggy’s thoughts easily. 

_“Where to put you though. You’ve got plenty of courage, your brothers before you did too.”_ His words made him think of Tony, placed in Gryffindor and happy there. He’d fit in better than any of the Milkovich’s had expected, and Iggy didn’t think it’d be bad to be there with him. If Tony managed to be happy there, than Iggy thought he could too. 

_“No, no, I don’t think that’s right though.”_ The hat continued, and Iggy deflated a little, rubbing his hands over his bony knees. _“Oh don’t be disappointed. I can’t rush these things, and the obvious choice isn’t always the best. This is where you’ll spend the next seven years of your life lad, give an old hat some time.”_ And okay, that made sense once the hat put it like that. Iggy could deal with that. He didn’t need to spend seven years in a place that wasn’t for him. He’d had eleven years of that already. 

_“Hmmm, not Gryffindor, no, and not Slytherin, either. Hufflepuff? You’ve got loyalty, some loose morals, sure, but all you Milkoviches seem to have bent morals in spades, even your mother, but that doesn’t change that you lot are loyal to the end. At least, once you’ve found who you’re loyal to. Not right either though. Oh brains though, you’ve got plenty of those.”_ Iggy couldn’t help the snort he let out, thinking of all the times his father had said he was a stupid piece of shit. Hell, even his mother didn’t think he was the smartest thing in the world. Iggy could accept that though. He didn’t need to be a genius to get through life. _“Oh don’t give me that. I can see in your head, remember? You’ve got plenty of smarts, enough for…”_

“RAVENCLAW!!!” 

*******************************************

Phillip Gallagher was shaggy haired, a bit of an asshole, but most of all, he was smart. That was his defining Gallagher trait he figured. Frank liked to label his kids a lot. Fiona was the rock and Lip was the smart one. Those were their roles, and Lip might hate Frank more than he hated almost anyone, but he couldn’t say the man was wrong about him. Lip was a goddamned genius, and he knew it. Which is why it made sense that the hat barely touched the top of Phillip Gallagher’s head before it was screaming “RAVENCLAW!” 

***************************

Ian wasn’t sure what he’d expected, how he thought the sorting would go, but a hat that spoke into his head wasn’t it. He watched while the others were sorted, fingers twisted with the girl’s he’d met on the train. Mandy’d declared them best friends five minutes into the ride, and Ian hadn’t been able to deny it, had smiled and said “deal” and let her eat half his sandwich and sleep part of the train ride with her head in his lap. He was suddenly terrified they’d go into separate houses. That he’d not only be away from his siblings, but this new lifeline he’d found in a new, unfamiliar place. When his name was called, she shoved him forward and Ian stepped up, settled onto the stool and let the hat be dropped on his head. 

_“Hmmm, the middle Gallagher child. A bit of an interesting mind you’ve got there. Reminds me of your mother.”_ The voice said in his head and Ian frowned, hating the comparison. He heard how similar he was to Monica enough, he didn’t need to be told he had a brain like hers, didn’t need to worry that he’d turn into her, and disappoint everyone he loved like she did. 

_“Oh no, whether you disappoint people is entirely up to you. The ability to choose is our greatest ability, and your choices are what will define you as more than your mother’s son Ian Gallagher. Choose wisely, and have a good time in…”_

“SLYTHERIN!” 

********************************************

Mandy Milkovich was a tiny little wisp of a girl at eleven, her second hand robes hanging loose on her overly thin frame. She had her hand clutched to Ian’s, had latched onto him on the train with a speed that surprised even herself. He was just- He was nice, and his robes were almost as awful as Mandy’s and when he smiled, Mandy swore he made the whole train compartment light up. She’d declared them best friends already, and had been proven how right her decision was when he’d offered up half his sandwich, and when he’d pet at her hair and let her sleep with her head on his lap. 

He was the perfect friend already. 

She was terrified she’d ruin it by being sent to Gryffindor or something. 

_“My last Milkovich this generation, I see.”_ The hat said when it was placed on her head. 

“Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin!” She mumbled, practically chanted it, because that was the only option. She’d have no one otherwise. Her brothers were too old to pay attention to her, no matter if she ended up in one of their houses, except for Mickey, but he was surly and grumpy on his best days, and she knew they’d spend more time fighting than anything if they had to share a house. 

_“You know where you want to go already, don’t you? Well, I suppose you do know yourself best. You’re sure you don’t want somewhere else? Hufflepuff, maybe? You’ve got the heart, got the stubbornness, that’s for sure. How about Gryffindor? No? Well, you do have what it takes to fit in with the snakes. Cunning, you’ve got plenty of that, and ruthlessness. Don’t let that get the best of you though, some of those ruthless things, well, there’s no going back from them. I guess though, you must go to…”_

“SLYTHERIN!”


End file.
